How do you live with yourself?
Hi there!
This is no longer an active blog. Sorry about that! I've moved my most intriguing questions and answers to my personal blog, shirleytwofeathers. There are some good links here, so feel free to explore, have a great day!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
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12 Comments:
this is like a question posed to a mobster when faced with the bloody path behind them. I'm not sure. just the question made me feel like i should take a look at what i'm doing wrong and then decide whether or not i am a mass murderer! haha. anyway, i live with myself and my mongrel horde with the help of antidepressants, pain medication, stomach medication, sheer f@$*ing grit and the knowledge that it will get better. and it will get worse sometimes, but then, it will get better.
How do I live with myself?? The medication for the self diagnosed add sure helps when I need it…
with a little herb which makes me over think sometimes way too much…and that’s what often triggers my own depression for feeling like I havent accomplished anything significant in my life..
Lots of failed relationships…the only one I seem to care about now is my dog but if I go live in another land I would have to leave her for long periods of time…
I live better at least knowing that I take good care of myself physically…I figure if I’m body surfing everyday on the beach
At least my physical side will be taken care of and then maybe take it easy resigned to have a very unfulfilled life :(
Then on the other hand, I let my sinful lazy side take over so much like a gf that wants to control your life when you don’t want her possessing your freedom??
Part of me feels that I can do so much for this community with my plan ….. But I realize that there is a comfort level in the laziness with nobody to speak for and control your life… then there is no failure or rejection for having failed again as we have so often in our lives…but then I think how wonderful it would be to hanging out on the beach in few years as a success instead of being an old beach bum?? And I think one more year?? I guess I will have the summer to think about it…it would be nice to just think in the now and not to have to make that decision… a stingray could stab me in the heart while in the surf and then of course I wouldn’t have to worry…the future that I can see wouldn’t happen!
When are you going to stop babbling about the same old stuff? 'i never self-actualized, i don't have any friends but a dog, i'm lazy, i have add'....whatever, dude....the reason you don't have any friends is because you're kinda creepy and you stalk people. You have a difficult time getting one single coherent thought out and putting it on one of these blogs. i know you. i lived with you. you are a whining pain in the ass with no personal respect for anyone...and if you can linger around everywhere on the internet that i want to be and i have to continue to listen to the SAME crap that you have been incoherently babbling about for seven years at least....then you can just read the damn answer to why you have no friends and why your relationships failed. the question was, 'how do you live with yourself,'....and the answer to that is YOU CAN'T. you have to be right in the middle of someone else's crap whether they want you there or not. all your lovely little imagery of you and your dog and a deathwish stingray in the water is just great. has nothing to do with the question posed. so let's add this up....you are incoherent, creepy, and you cannot stay on the subject to save your life, and you are going to force yourself on anyone you can. probably even your dog. great. still....nothing to do with the question asked on this blog by TwoFeathers....but it does answer yours. (the 'why do i have no friends' one, just because i know you cannot stay on track long enough to remember what your own stupid question was.) you can't even remember what the damn question is that was asked on the blog the same day you comment...you just keep going on and on about your self-proclaimed pathetic life every time you comment on one of these handful of blogs that you like to frequent and be 'anonymous' at. as if no one knows who you are! haven't you ever heard of a statistics tracking program??? you are just so freaking creepy. geez. enough already.......why not just comment as 'john turbayne, special ed teacher and weirdo?' i can't even believe children remain subjected to your creepyness.
Ok you guys... I think you have just answered the question for me. The two of you have just portrayed exactly how I live with myself...
I have the part of me that lives in "la la" land, with occaisional and sometimes not so occaisional lapses into selp pity and ridiculousness... there is the"duh" part of me that doesn't know hwo to even spell "occaisional" ... and then there is my inner "tapir" the one that is fully capable of ripping the arm off an annoying zoo keeper.. and then there is the part of me that wants to do things "right" and is constantly being annoyed by and arguing with the "duh" and the "dumb" me ...
Those fragments of myself just sort of coexist - not often peacefully - in the same body as what I consider to be my better half... the part of me that forgives my other selves for their faults and flaws... the part of me that really wants to "know" and be "in tune with" the spirit-that-moves-within-all-things, the part of me that rarely shines through the bullshit.
So... I want to thank "annonymous" and "not so annonymous's girlfriend" for giving me this interesting thing to think about today.
so the innermost parts of the self are dual opposites....because perfection only occurs within paradox. you really are a buddhist!!!
Yes.. Thank you Raoul for noticing that... and since you have reminded me that I am a buddhist... I am remembering also that "life is suffering" but it doesn't matter because "it's all an illusion" anyway... so... wow.. I feel like I went to a bizarre kind of spiritual retreat this morning!
Thank you Shirley for thinking of a very thoughtful reply and you are welcome for helping us see our good and bad.
"Those fragments of myself just sort of coexist - not often peacefully - in the same body as what I consider to be my better half... the part of me that forgives my other selves for their faults and flaws... the part of me that really wants to "know" and be "in tune with" the spirit-that-moves-within-all-things, the part of me that rarely shines through the bullshit"
Ok, I teach special ed with students that have both "good and bad"...two forces working within their Karma
Students can say some very nasty things to their teachers ... then when they understand why they are so angry, they write about it and of course have some healthy food like an apple to simmer their rage while they are writing...when they are finished they are sometimes even apologetic. Then we play a game of chess and feel better about resolving their situation.
How do we live with ourself? Do we think from our animilastic will to survive or from a religious moral sense imposed on us by 10000 years of civilization?
I have learned to deal with death from my common law wife, my mother and father. It is difficult but I learned first to live each day one day at a time. I am still learning to live in the now. It is so difficult to remember sometimes.It is so easy to think back to happier carefree times with the birds chirping and you are in love and then to get back to reality..and you get depressed
I want to eat right and excercise the mind and body or I will feel like im stagnating..I feel we can be like the one celled organism and just stay in one place forever being an amoeba, or our electrons can get to the excited state and move to the next orbit. I felt that way when I woke up this morning and an epipheny happened. I have been teaching a thousand miles away on a reservation but I feel my electrons could be a point where I will move on or at the least put myself into the next orbit...and again out of the comfort zone..my principal told me how one has to get out of the comfort zone into find him/herself...
and then after its all over wouldnt it to be really nice to know you get to have another journey but in another shell?
May the universe bless all of us in all of our endeavors :)
oh my god. my endeavor this morning is to stick myself in the eye with a fork so i will be unable to read the babbling......
How do you define very libelous slander?
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