You had something important and special, and you lost it?
What was it?
Hi there!
This is no longer an active blog. Sorry about that! I've moved my most intriguing questions and answers to my personal blog, shirleytwofeathers. There are some good links here, so feel free to explore, have a great day!
Friday, August 3, 2007
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I lost my childhood...
I lost my absolute faith that guardian angels really follow me around...
I lost confidence in my ability to do what I really want to do...
I lost me... and I even know when the losing began...
This makes me sad. And it feels like something important to listen to and think about.
My freedom. My independence. My knowledge that I would always have enough money, no matter what. I lost my ability to feel great about the choices I'm making. Now, I always worry that the worst possible scenario will happen, so I am stuck and paralyzed and can't seem to get out of the muck of fear.
I'm not sure how to regain all of that, other than taking tiny baby steps toward it every day.
I lost the ability to trust. I definitely lost the ability to trust men enough to have any kind of romantic relationship with one! I was so deeply hurt on so many occasions, it just doesn't seem worth the trouble anymore! Every time I stick my neck out and try again, I am sorry I did it.
I have also lost the ability to trust my own decisions about my life. I seem to keep making mistakes over and over, mainly career choices, money choices, and health choices. I don't think I'm making the SAME mistakes over and over, but every time I get a new idea and make a new choice, it ends up being a mistake!
I also lost the beautiful, slender, sexy woman I was in my 20s who could have any man she wanted (and often did!) And I think the entire reason I lost that is due to my loss of trust, described in the first paragraph!!
And so, now I'm wondering if we all lose something as we grow older.. and if this isn't maybe something that is SUPPOSED to happen so that we would go looking to find it again... and in the process look at each other... and in the process learn to be kind.
I lost someone beautiful inside and out that was devoted to me
I lived with her for 13 years and often took her for granted not knowing how lucky I was...she passed away suddenly with out any warning and a chance to say goodbye
I think I have found love again and I will never take it for granted..
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